Weapons, Drugs, Other Cool Shit Seized In Kildare
Posted on | June 2, 2010
Holy shit! Look at that!
Gardaí investigating a criminal gang have seized two loaded rocket launchers, six pump-action shotguns, €500,000-worth of cocaine and loads of other deadly shit in a warehouse in Co. Kildare.
The sight of the top-of-the-range weaponry and class-A drugs provoked gasps of awe in the officers who discovered the illicit treasure at Longtime House close to Punchestown.
The Army bomb disposal squad who were called out were also deeply impressed by the lethal stash.
Gardaí from the Organised Crime Unit were giddy with excitement as they raided the premises in a follow-up search after two Al Pacino wannabes were arrested yesterday.
The men, who were picked up in a vehicle on the Clane Road yesterday, informed Gardaí of the sensational stash of drugs and shooters hidden nearby.
A follow up search in the Rathcoole area most likely prevented the occurance of a massive coke-fueled shoot-out in the lobby of some garishly decorated mansion between rival gangsters each armed with two AK’s in both hands.
It is understood the arrests and seizures are connected to a Dublin gang whose members probably all have nicknames like Billy the Mermaid, the Fat Controller, the VIP, Specky Bastard O’Rourke and such.
Fine Gael’s justice spokesman Charlie Flanagan said the discovery of the illegal items was “an amazing reminder” of some of the coolest gangster films ever made.
“This find proves that our home grown criminals nowadays are on a par with Joe Pesci in Goodfellas and De Niro in The Untouchables in their over-the-top viciousness. And that’s kind of cool in a way, isn’t it?”
Justice Minister Dermot Ahern concurred by pointing out the dramatic potential of the story:
“I actually think a really great film about this feud is just waiting to be made. It’d be absolutely brilliant – with all the guns and drugs and violence and shit. Just think – ‘say hello to me little buddy’, and then BANG-BANG-BANG! Blood everywhere…
“You could see Colin Farrell in it, couldn’t you? Just wasting motherfuckers left, right and centre – it’d be rapid!”
