Festival Review: Oxigen ’09
Posted on | July 16, 2009
Bulimic beauty Lady Gag on the Main Stage Sunday
Howdy doody people! Well let’s not faff about with intros – weren’t the Killers of Leon the absolute, hands-down, completely and totally best band at Oxigen ’09? They truly are the kings of half-filled stadium rock these day, ain’t no doubt about it.
Anyway, back to impartiality. So, like me, were you a bit worried that this summer’s event might not go ahead after the total disaster that was Oxegen ’08?
For a while it looked like ’09 might be scrapped entirely after the controversy last year when Ireland’s biggest music festival (caused by a lethal cocktail of booze, drugs and shit music) turned into Ireland’s biggest land conflict since the Battle of the Boyne!
So fair play to waste management company Oxigen for stepping into the breach after previous sponsors Heineken chickenly pulled out.
The new guys put on an okay show, all things considered, but it was worth it for the homophone alone. Admittedly, the food wasn’t great but at least we had the best toilet facilities ever!
One person who was certainly thankful for quality jacks was anorexic angel Lady Gag. Apparently her rider’s number one stipulation was a personal pristine portaloo all to herself. Y’see Lady is an adherent of Dietology, and the cult’s strict regurgitation requirements means she cannot eat any food with “purging” herself of it an hour and a half later.
Anyway, Lady Gag’s set on the Main Stage was rather slimmed down itself, consisting as it did of a mere two songs – her recent no.1 hit Puker Face followed by a cover of the Girls Aloud classic Sound of the Underfed.
Speaking to Lady after her show she exclusively denied the rumour she is to take the lead role in the upcoming movie remake of the 90s TV show Ally McBulimia:
“No that’s not on the cards, but I have been offered the main part in a musical reboot of the 90s TV show Buffy The Teenage Bitch, which is being written by legendary coke-jockey Anthony Floyd Weller.” Dunno about you, but I simply can wait for that!
Clogging up the Main Stage on Saturday with their aural sedative was Snooze Control, but I was soon jolted awake again after the arrival of apathetic Britpop pioneers Blah, who ran through all the hits, from Laxlife to Blasébum and Song 2, 5, 11 and 37.
Fast-forward 24 hours and Carrie Y‘s voice wasn’t the only loud thing about her. The Yada Yada Yadas frontwoman certainly caught the eye (and refused to let go) with her dress made entirely out of sequined Lego. Still, she couldn’t upstage top-billers the Killers of Leon – who could in fairness?
Place to be on the Friday was the Buckfast Blue Balls Stage featuring 2 Many Samples, the ‘Pope of Dope’ himself Pete Doherty and capped off by main men the Killers of Leon. Fair dues to Pete for finally accepting (even if his fans haven’t) that he hasn’t written one decent song in his entire career – indicated by the fact that his set entirely consisted of cover versions.
And ever the honest man that he is, young master Peter seemed to choose songs that may reflect his present state of mind, including the Stereo ODs Gonna Get Myself Injected, Boo Boo Ramone‘s I Wanna Be Cremated and Kurt Cobain‘s I Dislike My Own Stupid Face And Want To Shoot It With A Big Gun.
Morons.
Over to the Emersion Magazine Token Irish Band Tent (because we have to). It featured local losers the Formulaics, religious rappers Jehovah X and the Witness, and studiously mad Dublin band Face Like An Ape. Appearance isn’t all the latter shower have in common with primates, as the unappreciative audience soon found themselves the target of handfuls of heinously hurled faeces!
As there is no Irish artists good enough to headline any stage, the Killers of Leon became honorary Paddies for night and sure enough they headlined the shit outta the place.
The CrediBull Music Academics Stage was further proof that rock n’ roll is still the vital and innovative art form it has been since its inception (I defy anyone to deny indie rock is now on a par with jazz in terms of cultural relevance).
On the bill in its inaugural year were music journalists Keith O’Burn of Emersion, Cal Blowther from Entertaining Weakly, while the madam terrible of various British periodicals Judie Archibald rounded off the nite/night.
Instead of bands playing their music, the Academic Stage is purely catered toward influential rock critics who have reached a level of fame and infamy that fans will gather in their thousands to see them read out their most popular articles live on stage.
In the interests of full disclosure I will admit that I myself was first on the bill – unfortunately a recital of my controversial 2005 review of a Strokes gig (in which I mused on the possibility of the band actually being former stroke victims, based on their playing abilities) didn’t go down too well… natch.
Needles to say, the cooler-than-thou indie nerds bottled me off stage a mere five minutes into my performance. I was disgustipated to be quite honest, however I didn’t storm out as (huzzah!) the between act entertainment was provided by, yes, the Killers of Leon! Rock and roll!
Get Yourself Updated On… Festivals ’08
