Drunken, Sanctimonious Rabble Reduce Dublin Head Shop To Rubble
The remains of the Mellow Submarine head shop this morning. A head shop in south Dublin was burnt to the ground earlier this morning by an “angry, boozed-up mob” of over 30 people. Local gardaí say the destruction of the Mellow Submarine shop on High Street, Tallaght, occured around 1am. Two employees working in the [...]
30,000 Lucky Bastards Remain Stranded Abroad
Stranded Irish enjoying the time spent in a country that isn’t Ireland It is being reported that up to 30,000 Irish people are in the enviable position of being unable to return to Ireland. The Government Taskforce on Emergency Dithering said that thousands of jammy gits are using the ash cloud crisis as an excuse [...]
Iceland Risks Becoming ‘The Next Ireland’ If Politicians Allowed Go Scot Free – Report
Icelanders engaging in an activity known as ‘protesting’ A scathing 2000-page Icelandic report claims their country is at risk of becoming ‘the next Ireland’ if those responsible for the banking collapse ‘are not held accountable for their crimes’. The Special Investigation report, commissioned by the Icelandic parliament, said that unless justice prevailed the cozy cartel [...]
“I Never Had A Beard” Claims Adams
“My face is as smooth as a baby’s behind.” Sinn Féin President Gerry Adams has again denied allegations he has a beard. Mr Adams mades his denial today after renewed claims were made in the memoirs of a former personal stylist. In his autobiography released this week, senior Belfast hairdresser Raymond “The Razor” Bruce claims [...]
‘April Fool!’ Yells Lenihan Over Multi-Billion Euro Bail Out
“I had yis going though, didn’t I?” Minister for Finance Brian Lenihan described as “absolutely hilarious” people’s reaction to his April Fool’s joke about the €50bn cost of bailing out the banks. Tuesday’s announcement that the overall cost of the Nama project would effectively cripple the country for decades was today revealed as an elaborate [...]
