‘Self-Hating’ Jew Also Hated By Other Jews
A Jewish American political scientist renowned for his harsh criticism of Israel – so much so that he has been dubbed a ‘self-hating’ Jew – is also hated by many of his fellow Jews, it has come to light. An Israeli government spokesman said Professor Albert Winkelwitz was banned from entering the country yesterday because [...]
Restaurant Review: Turkish Muck-House Leaves Customers Wishing They Were Dead
As myself and the wife left our home for a meal in the Turkish “food emporium” New Constantinople I had an awful premonition that I’d end up on the shitter at the end of the night, cursing the Ottomans to high heaven – well I wasn’t at all wrong let me tell you. When we [...]
Judge Orders Celebrity Couple To Change Daughter’s Sensible Name
The press await news in the so-called ‘Plain Jane’ case A British judge has ordered a rock star and his famous wife to change the controversially conventional name they had given their daughter. Judge Foster Smythe said the “common” name Jane given by singer Maurice Cress and Hollywood actress Gwendolyn Baltry to their child was [...]
Diet Tips… from Tabitha Spane
Hey fattys! Are you sick of men not paying you any attention because of your bubble butt? Is your husband getting physically abusive because the sight of your expanding waistline is making him regret marrying you?! Are you sick of going to the zoo with your ugly kids and having the zookeepers chasing you with [...]
“There’s Bird Shit In My Dom Pérignon” – Qantas Flyer
An Irishman on board the Qantas flight from London to Melbourne, which had to make an emergency landing in the Philippines yesterday, described the horror shared by the first-class passengers on board the ill-fated flight in an exclusive interview with Gubuwire. “Yeah, fucking mad stuff. So I’m sitting there, right… Watching Fiddler on the Roof [...]
Obama Inadvertently Elected President of Germany
White House hopeful Barack Obama found himself accidentally elected as the new German head of state, mere hours after his arrival in Berlin today. The Illinois Senator was visiting Germany as part of his week-long tour of the Middle East and Europe, designed to strengthen his foreign policy credentials ahead of the US presidential election [...]
Proprietor’s Potential Prosecution Pending Police Pimp Probe
Ben ‘Pimp Daddy’ Dunne Gardaí are today questioning businessman and possible future MEP Ben Dunne about his involvement in a chain of highly successful high class prostitution rings and people trafficking operation. An unnamed Garda source has revealed that Westpoint and Carlisle health and fitness gyms are actually massage parlours in which members subscribe each [...]
Karadzic Tipped For Best Make-Up Award At Next Year’s Oscars
Karadzic, before (left) and after Radovan Karadzic, the recently captured ex-leader of the Bosnian Serbs during the Yugoslav war, has “every chance” of winning an Academy Award for his expert make-up effect, say insiders. The man who was responsible for some of the worst atrocities in Europe since World War II was captured on a [...]
Get Yourself Updated On… Festivals
Lead howler of the Werewolf Tones Bobby Warshaw What-o all you folking folksters out there! Have you been feeling pangs of envy directed at the indie crowd and the wide selection of events catered towards their uncultured tastes this summer? Well resent no longer because your discerning aural palette will be satiated next week when [...]
Pope Blames “Attractive Children” For Clerical Abuse
Pope Benedict XVI apologised this weekend for the sexual abuse committed by Catholic clergy during a speech in Australia. However he also made reference to the fact that children nowadays are becoming sexualised at “younger and younger ages”. Visiting Australia for World Youth Day, the Pontiff said: “Yeah we’re sorry for that sexual abuse stuff, [...]
keep looking »
