Get Yourself Updated On… Clubs
If you end up in the non-aptly-named Palace anytime after ten tonight and there’s just total silence don’t worry, that’s just My Poxy Insomnia performing tracks from their new album Psycho-Auralnauts the eagerlessly awaited follow-up to their ground-breaking second debut Tuneless. Further cementing their reputation as innovators, they’ve only gone and recorded the entire album [...]
Blackwater Shootings ‘Not Very Polite’ – FBI
Central Baghdad this morning FBI agents investigating a recent incident in Iraq in which US private security company Blackwater shot dead 17 Iraqi civilians have found that the shootings were “culturally insensitive” and “not very polite”. According to a report in The Washington Post, while the FBI investigation into the shootings in Baghdad is still [...]
Eamon Dunphy Sets Himself On Fire Outside FAI HQ
Controversial journalist Eamon Dunphy earlier today doused himself in petrol and set himself alight outside the Football Association of Ireland’s headquarters in Dublin. The 82-year old football analyst was only saved when members of the public (including FAI chief John Delaney) sprayed him with water and other available liquids, putting out the flames that had [...]
Labour Tables Motion of No Confidence In Selves
New Labour leader Eamon whatshishead Since Fine Gael leader Enda Kenny secured a motion of no confidence in Health Minister Mary Harney, the Labour Party has now announced they will be putting forward this week a motion of no confidence in themselves. According to deputy leader Joan Burton “The tabling of a motion of no [...]
Brendan O’ Doherty’s Talkin’ Tough … on Trade Unions
Hands up who thinks that our society is in the stranglehold of a most vile, unaccountable, unprogressive, uncivilised of institutions? An institution that has single-handedly held back this country for literally hundreds of years? Who am I referring to? Well, if you read the headline then you’ll have figured it out – yes, the trade [...]
Mexican Flood Kills Hundreds of Holiday Plans
Tourist destinations worst affected by flooding At least 600 Irish people are reported to have had their holiday plans killed off, as the floods that have engulfed Mexico show no sign of abating. Heavy rain across much of the southern half of the country has destroyed the travel plans and crushed the hopes of many [...]
‘My Chinese Burn Hell At The Hands of Luke Kelly’ Reveals Ronnie Drew
Former member of trad band the Dubliners and much-loved singer Ronnie Drew releases his controversial new autobiography today entitled The True Drew. The book promises to spill the beans on Mr Drew’s life, from his rise to fame with the Dubliners to recent solo projects and collaborations. The singer will be signing copies of The [...]
This Week’s Television Highlights…
Wednesday: 8PM, RTE Two: Better Late Late Than Never This week’s guest: Pat Kenny. Gubuwire’s very own Christopher Akabusi is given one hour to convince Pat that his career has been a failure. Kenny: Failure Thursday 9:30PM, RTE Two: The Panel Loud Nordie hosts another raucous half hour of almost comedy, along with three “Funnymen”. [...]
Potato Waffle Blight Threatens Second Irish Famine
A blight-infected potato waffle Some 160 years after the original Great Hunger, Ireland and its inhabitants are on the cusp of another famine, according to a report published yesterday. This time the threat comes from the fungus known as Phytophthora infrozans which infects potato waffles, causing them to rot and become inedible. This particular strain [...]
Samsung Sales Dip Due To O’Gara Advertising Campaign
Electronic giants Samsung have admitted a massive down turn in sales in the Republic of Ireland is due to Irish fly-half Ronan O’Gara’s inclusion in their most recent advertising campaign. As a spokesperson for the company explained yesterday, “nobody wants to buy a TV from a loser, our TV’s are for winners.” The adverts, which [...]
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